Dear Elsa: a letter at four months


I love you.

I love the way you greet the day. I sneak into the room, thinking you’re still asleep, and you’re lying there. Peacefully. Often smiling. Just waiting…quietly. And then you see me, and you look up, grinning, and your entire body starts wiggling happily. You kick your arms and legs and squeal up at me. This past month, you were napping in the bassinet beside the bed, and I rolled over from my own nap to you looking straight at me, beaming, as if you were just waiting for me to wake up. I think this is a glimpse into who you are.

elsaI love how just a look your direction makes you break into a gummy smile. You are always beaming in Owen’s general direction, your head turning to follow his toddler sounds and he runs by you. I love how giggly you’ve become. You laugh at silly sounds and surprises. You laugh at your dad the most. We sing “Rise and Shine” to you, while moving your tiny arms, and you squeak and giggle over and over. Sometimes, when you’re really tired and relaxed, swaddle and pacifier-ed, you give a faint laugh just before drifting off.

I love the way you stop nursing to gaze up at me. You make eye contact with me and break out a huge smile, sometimes laughing, as you glance sideways up at me as if to say oh! it’s you?! again?! I love this! And then you eagerly turn to nurse again, mouth open and lips searching, before pulling off a minute later to grin up at me again.

I love the way your hands are always gathered together under your chin…as if in prayer or plotting. Your fingers and theumbs are slowly finding their way into your mouth. Your chin and upper chest are wet with saliva, and you will suck on anyone’s hand that comes near your face.

I love your rolls. Your cheeks are round and full, and they basically rest on your chest. Your arms and legs are just rolls upon rolls; you are so round that your legs barely fit in the Bumbo seat. When we lift you out, the seat comes with.

I love the way you giggle when I tickle you – as if in pain but you can’t help laughing. I love the way you let me cut your nails when you’re awake  – so calm and easy going. I love your squawks and squeals and all that you are becoming. I love your dresses and headbands. I love our snuggles and our naps together, with my nose resting by one of your cheeks.

Elsa, you are sweet and calm.  When you cry, it is all the more tragic for your general happiness. We love you and can’t imagine life without you anymore.

I am so thankful for you.

Love you, baby girl!
Your Mom

Things You Love: nursing, burping, the Ergo, pacifiers, the song Rise and Shine, when Owen talks or looks at you, being outside, the jangle birds, the plastic rings, any toy you can reach up and grab, baths, being naked, sleeping in our bed, sleeping in general, your mom, your dad, Owen, looking out the window, looking up at the trees when lying on a blanket in the grass

Things You Hate: getting clothes put on, having your neck folds dried, being put down, being alone in a room when you’re awake, being unable to burp or poop, getting water splashed in your face





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